Passing the Time
Tuesday, March 18, 2003. Entry #208

Nearly a month?

I tend to digress from meta-discussions these days -- talking about the journal in the journal -- but this little absence does deserve some note I suppose.

It hasn't been deliberate, this little disappearance. Just the random misconnections and problems of life, all happening at the same time.

I'm still here. I hope you are all still there.

So I've been sick.

Totally sick. Knocked-down, dragging-my-ass-around sick. I had to leave work early last Thursday to come home and lie uncontrollably shivering in bed for hours. I spent days dragging my sorry carcass around the Disease Triangle of the apartment: Bed, bathroom, couch. Bed, bathroom, couch.

I'm only marginally better now. Well enough to drive the car without becoming embedded in large pieces of stationary concrete, but not well enough to go a full workday without aid of over-the-counter pharmaceuticals.

I blame my boss.

See, I think that if you are sick, you should stay the hell home. I think it's an effective business practice to try to limit the amount of germs flying around the office. Sick people who drag their asses to the office decrease overall productivity by 1) groggily screwing up their own projects, and 2) spreading their disease so others can do the same thing.

This opinion is not universally shared.

My boss, in particular, seems to be of the must-always-be-at-work camp. I haven't had any specific conversation with her on this, but the fact that there's a fair chance of reaching her by phone at her desk at any hour of the day is a fair indication of where her priorities lie.

She also never seems to get sick. Stupid fit healthy people. I made sure to cough on the water cooler.

Anyway. I'm at work. I'd rather be home playing Super Mario Sunshine. Some of those levels are really neat when seen through a bacteria-and-medication induced haze.

Saw the throat specialist a couple weeks ago.

Once again, Dr. Birch proved himself a real minimalist in the talkie-talkie department. My entire examination went something like this.

"So how are you?"
"Not bad. I think the nasal spray has really helped."
"Have you stopped clearing your throat?"
"Not entirely. It's a lot less now though."
"Very good. Well then. That's all I can do."
"Sorry?"
"Yep. So next time you get the urge to clear your throat, just don't do it."

Thank you, Nancy Reagan.

"I'm sorry?"
"Don't do it."
"So... you're saying what is left is simply a habitual component."
"Yes. Plus that fact that clearing your throat irritates it as well. Well! Take care!"
(Sound of door closing as he scoots from the room)

Very helpful. 'Don't do it.' Gee, I could have saved ten years of aggravation if I'd have known this sooner.

Okay, he's probably right, but it annoys me that he was so willing to just give up and assign me the task of cleaning up my little psychological addiction by myself. I know there is no patch for this, but isn't there anything he could have advised? Anything other than 'drink lots of water'?

Oh, and I've also stopped taking the nasal spray. I was beginning to have a near constant nosebleed.

Sad fact of this little condition is that there are a lot of people with it, but no clear cure or treatment. I've had email exchanges with more than a few fellow sufferers (it's the #3 search result bringing people here these days, and I'm #5 on a Google search on 'chronic throat clearing'), none who have had any more success than me.

Still, it is very much reduced, and entire days go by without any noticeable backsliding. Any progress is good progress.

I'm enjoying this season. The sheer juvenile goofiness of the 'boys and girls' is endearing and laughable. I tell you, those guys are far more concerned with Shawna's ass than the challenges.

As for picks, I picked Joanna correctly, and Jeane was an easy one. This week: Christy will be gone. I have a feeling.

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