Wednesday, December 18, 2002. Entry #199

Okay, so maybe Roger Ebert isn't totally out to lunch.

You've got to know how sad it is when you have me agreeing with Roger Ebert on a movie review, but this time he's on the money. I agree with pretty much everything he says in his review of the Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. Go read it and come on back.

I have a harsher opinion of the movie than Ebert, because while Ebert reviewed it as a movie alone, I'm such a big fan of the books that I end up comparing the two and The Two Towers comes off much the worse in comparison.

I loved 'Fellowship', because not only was it a kick-ass movie, it was also a homage to the book, and managed to keep the same feel and style, even despite not adhering to the original in every aspect. Sure they cut out the whole Tom Bombadil part and all of Frodo's preparations to leave the Shire, but the feel was still there, and nothing suffered for the loss.

I understand that sacrifices must be made, simply to fit it all in. That's fine. Cut out the stuff that doesn't move the plot along and do your best to patch over the hole. Okay. No problem. I'll sigh sadly and get over it.

When we saw Two Towers last night (the midnight showing - I'm so very tired today) I was expecting more of the same. Maybe bits would be cut here and there. I expected we wouldn't see Merry and Pippin's conversation with Quickbeam the Ent, or we might miss out on big chunks of Frodo and Sam's hiking towards Mordor.

I didn't expect what we got.

(Okay, here I'm going to go into some in-depth fanboy ranting. If you don't want the movie spoiled for you in a big way, jump on down to the bottom.)

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Let's have some specifics.

Some of the changes were good. We got to see things alluded to in the text, like Gandalf fighting the Balrog in the depths of the earth and the heights of the mountains. That was cool. We had some amazing stuff with Gollum, making me actually sympathetic for the little bastard, which is something even the books failed to do.

But the other changes boggled my mind.

Frodo's journey. They arrive at the Black Gate. In the book, they had some hushed conversation in hiding, and then skulked around it to head south to Gollum's 'secret way in'. Apparently that wasn't enough action for Peter Jackson, so he had this whole confrontation where Sam slid down the hill and got stuck in a hole, so Frodo had to scramble down and save him when two evil guys came to see what the noise was. Interesting enough, but it was action for action's sake.

Later on, when Faramir captures them, everything goes crazy.

First off. Faramir is supposed to be just as valiant, but much wiser and thoughtful than Boromir. He suspects the Hobbit at first, but is impressed with their nobility and strength, and gains their trust, while they gain his. Then he frees them to continue their mission, after surmising what it is Frodo holds, but resisting the temptation to take it.

Movie-version Faramir is nowhere near is wise. He does not trust the Hobbits one bit, and determines that the Ring must be taken to Gondor. He actually ties them up and carts them down to the besieged city of Osgiliath. There, a Ringwraith attacks the city, and Frodo has eye-to-eye contact with it when he nearly falls to the pull of the ring. Sam knocks him away in the nick of time, and Faramir relents, allowing them to move on.

The hell?! This is not a careful subtraction from the text for time and craft. This is a shift in the personality of a main character, in that Faramir is supposed to be bright and good and everything his brother wasn't. Faramir does resist the pull eventually, but only barely, and really unbelievably.

Why drag the Hobbits to Osgiliath? For action, that's why. That's where the fighting is, plus it's a pretty set and they wanted to show it off. Instead of thoughtful discussion and character development, we get a standard battlefield revelation.

Okay, let's talk about the other half of the book, the rescue of Pippin and Merry, the battle for Helm's Deep, and the destruction of Orthanc by the Ents.

What wasn't there: nearly all the funny and engrossing interaction between the Hobbits and Treebeard. All the defenders posted at Helm's Deep too, it seems. This fortress of the West was apparently completely unguarded when the people arrived to hole up there. Oh, and that deadly and creepy forest that the Ents sent to Helm's Deep to wipe out the fleeing orc army? Yeah, that never happened either.

What was changed: Apparently I read the book wrong. Gimli wasn't a steadfast and valiant warrior. No, he was comic relief, as he kept falling off his horse and making 'dwarf-tossing' jokes. Theoden, even when released from Sarumon's spell, was not, as I thought, a valiant and mighty king who drove his people to fight Sarumon, but a coward, who drew all his people into hiding and waited to be attacked there.

What was added: Scenes of Wormtongue lusting for and leering at Eowyn. A scene of Gandalf exorcising King Theoden, who apparently was actually being possessed by Sarumon. A completely irrelevant fight with Aragorn falling off a cliff at the end, only to miraculously appear just before the big battle scene. Scenes of Elrond berating Arwen into leaving Middle-Earth with the rest of the Elves. Scenes of Elrond telling Aragorn that his daughter is an elf and it would never work out. Scenes of Aragorn telling Arwen 'it'll never work out' and trying to get her to leave with the elves. Scenes of communication between Galadrial and Elrond about the fighting and the humans. An entire battalion of elfish warriors showing up out of the blue to help protect Helm's Deep. A lot of scenes of Eowyn being all mooney-eyed over Aragorn. A bunch of unnecessary scenes about a Rohan family, including: a mother sending her two kids off on a horse when their village was attacked, the two kids arriving at Edoras, the two kids arriving at Helm's deep to find their mother there miraculously unslaughtered, the two kids being given weapons and sent to fight at the battlements. Then we never see them again. Presumably they were wiped out. I don't know. Scenes of the Ents not deciding to join the war on their own. Scenes of Pippin blatantly tricking Treebeard into 'dropping them off' by Orthanc, so he can see the devastation Sarumon has caused to the forest, thus brining the Ents into the fight (because, you know, the OLDEST AND WISEST BEING IN THE WORLD can be easily tricked by a FOOLISH HOBBIT.

The Ents really bother me, in case you can't tell.

For me, the best part of The Two Towers book was the Ents. The talking, the interaction, the humor. Ents are part funny and wise old men and part terrifying unstoppable force, but in the movie, it was like they were stupid or something. They were still fearsome when they went to battle, but there was so much missing from their personalities and attitudes that they ended up being unsympathetic creatures.

I can see why a lot of this was done. The Ents were stupid, so the Hobbits could become heroes by bringing them into the fight (thus combating the critics who complained that the Hobbits weren't good for anything). All the bits with Arwen, Aragon, Elrond and Eowyn were to really show the love triangle, which was only alluded to in the books. The Rohan family was there to show the plight of the Rohirrim as Sarumon's forces swept over their land. Plus there were complaints that the first movie was slow and plodding, so this one had all the action added or pumped up to keep everyone interested.

You know what? Really, really not necessary. Lord of the Rings is not just action. It is the tale of a world passing away, of cultures being destroyed by time and evil. It is a series of wondrous discoveries, as the mysteries of the world come forth to do battle against darkness. It is as about the journey to victory, not just the victory itself.

The journey was stripped from The Two Towers. The physical, emotional and mental journeys. What we have left is an action movie that will satisfy those who aren't that familiar with the books. But those who love the books and what they are really about... Well, I think there will be more than a few who share my disappointment.

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Okay. Rant over.

Honestly, I may like the movie better on second viewing, when my expectations are not so high, and when I'm not completely exhausted from work and staying up four hour past my bedtime. We'll see.

This may be the last entry until after Christmas. Everything is busy, busy, busy, and I'm low on free time. So if I don't catch you before then, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

On Survivor: Four left! My picks: Jan gets voted off. If Brian wins the second immunity, he'll keep Clay. If he doesn't, either of the other two will keep him around. I think Brian would win the vote over Clay, but not over Helen. I suspect Brian may be our big winner this year. No matter how much I want Clay to win (thus garnering me the $30 office pool), I think Brian is poised to win.

One Year Ago Today: Boring Tuesday, where I apparently posted just to fill space.

Two Years Ago Today: Smell-o-vision, an 'If Project' collab entry where I talk about the smells of Christmas.

AND in 1869: The Hamilton Foot Ball Club (the precurser to today's Hamilton Tiger-Cats) played its first game.

Mom Rating: 3 out of 5. Mom probably won't see the movie. But she's read the book.

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