Monday, November 25, 2002. Entry #197

Only a little bit more on the religious stuff of the last two posts, and that's it for a while. I promise.

First, if anyone is wondering about the next salvo in the fight on the boards between Cookie and me, we talked off-line and I'm satisfied with our resolution. Sorry, no more drama for you folks.

Also, I feel I made Lisa look a bit overly confrontational in my mention of her conversation with the jerk. I should have mentioned that her outburst came after a week of listening to him berate other people for their beliefs, like slamming homosexuality continually in front of two known gay men, and telling a Mormon girl that she was 'almost a Christian, and what does she need the Book of Mormon for anyway'. This guy broke a whole bunch of last straws and deserved every inch of the tongue lashing he got.

Enough. There are more amazing things to talk about today.

I'm going to try to share with you something I felt last night.

This past weekend was the real breaking point for my NaNoWriMo novel. I was way behind, and needed to put down around 6,000 words just so I could still attempt the goal of 50,000 by this coming Saturday.

I got around a thousand done on Saturday, but my company Christmas party was that night and it really wasn't possible to accomplish more than that. Which left Sunday, part of which was already booked for one of our NaNoWriMo procrastination events.

(Part of the big thrill of this with me is the fact that I am doing it with such a neat and diverse bunch of people. I feel that taking the time to sit and chat with them over coffee or whatever is an essential part of the process.)

I wrote about eight hundred before the meet began, and after that there was dinner and everything, which all ate a chunk of the evening. By the time that 9:30 rolled around, I had only another couple hundred words written.

But I was not daunted, and I started typing. And something happened, something that I had not experienced before, not in all the time I've been writing.

The story carried me away.

I've spent the previous 35,000 words setting up the story, with 35,000 dominos lined up in patterns and rows, waiting to start tumbling into something new. Over a dozen characters with divergent motivations and ideals, all about to tumble together in what I hoped was some sort of beautiful (or at least comprehensible) pattern.

Last night, I pushed the first piece over.

I have never felt that rush before, that feeling of something actually welling up in me and propelling me forwards. I was able to forget the world around me - the cat clawing at my ankle, the Tiny Dinosaur demanding a cookie from his cage, my beautiful Lisa, waiting patiently for me to finish for the night so we could go to bed. It was all gone. Everything was the story.

In the next two and a half hours, I wrote close to 5,000 words.

My characters have lives now. It's a clichÈ, sure, but I felt it. I knew more about them than I have for the last twenty days. I found I had stories to reveal on each of them, reasons for their being in that place at that time that took them past being plot devices into fully-fledged personalities. I had so much to say, so much to show, so much to tell.

I can feel the story in my mind still, like building water pressure in my head, asking, demanding to be released onto the page.

I have no conception of how what I wrote last night reads. I hope my skill was sufficient to express the story, this unexpected visitor in my brain. It could be awful, it could be trite, but I find I don't care. It is moving, a current pouring from my fingers.

I am going to finish this. It is clear that I can do nothing but finish. It doesn't matter how good or bad the final product is, because this feeling of creation is so extraordinary. I can understand now why writers are so devoted to the craft.

This is so much more than I ever thought it could be.

Nothing in the archives for today, BUT in 1867: Alfred Nobel invented dynamite.

Mom Rating: 5 out of 5. Honestly, I hope Mom will be proud that I've reached this level. I'm astounded, myself.

Previous: The Other Side of the Coin

Next: Woo hoo!

Take me home, big fella