Friday, November 22, 2002. Entry #195

I don't know if it's because there are more of them these days, or that our social circle has widened enough recently to include them, but we've been running into more and more hard-core Christians these days.

Let me just say now that for the most part, I don't give a flying fish what anyone believes, faith-wise. I consider myself a liberal Christian, and I'm pretty much open to anyone else's faith so long as it doesn't require them to sacrifice me on a big block of Lucite. But as we spend more time with hard-core Christians, Lisa and I both find ourselves wanting to do some terribly unchristian throttling.

My big beef is people who don't think about their faith. I think faith is an evolving concern in each person, and anyone who takes their faith for granted, or just sits back and accepts the word of whoever is pushing the gospel at them that week, really needs a serious kick in the ass.

As I've mentioned before, one of the reasons we avoid going to church is most Christian religion's stance on homosexuality, and lately we've heard more and more people spout off Leviticus 18:22 at us. You know the one, the one that goes 'Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.' (King James Version).

A recent discussion of this between Lisa and one of her new coworkers went something like this:

"Homosexuality is bad."
"Why?"
"Because the Bible says so."
"So because the Bible says so, it's the law."
"Yes."
"So, according to the Bible, I am an abomination because I'm wearing pants."
"What?"
"Deuteronomy 22:5. Man shall not dress like woman, woman shall not dress like man."
"That's just a guideline."
"But it's in the Bible."
"Those are all just guidelines, not rules. The only rule in the Bible is the Golden Rule."
"So what about that bit on homosexuality? That's just a guideline?"
"No that one's a rule."

Which is when Lisa exploded all over him.

Here's my view. If you claim that the Bible is the utmost word of God, and that everything in there is the Word of God, then you must, by definition, treat them all as law. If, however, you decide that the Bible is open to interpretation and discussion, then all things in it become debatable.

You cannot have it both ways, people. If it's the law, it's all the law. You can't just pick and choose which laws you want to follow. If God said it, then you better get your ass busy doing it, or you will be rotting in Hell, like the rest of us sinners.

For the convenience of those who truly want to live the word of God, here are some specifics. All quotes are from the King James Version.

Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, Ye shall eat no manner of fat, of ox, or of sheep, or of goat. (Lev. 7.23)

Pretty clear, I think. So no lamp chops or racks of lamp or anything. Fair enough.

And the hare, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he is unclean unto you. (Lev. 11:6)

I never liked the taste of rabbit anyway.

Moreover ye shall eat no manner of blood, whether it be of fowl or of beast, in any of your dwellings. (Lev. 7:26)

Other than blood pudding or blood sausage, I think those of us outside England are okay.

And the swine, though he divide the hoof, and be clovenfooted, yet he cheweth not the cud; he is unclean to you. (Lev. 11:7)

Whoa! No pork? No pork chops or bacon or pork ribs or ham? I don't know about this.

And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you. (Lev. 11:10)

This leaves out shrimp, lobster, crab and shellfish of all kinds. Whales and dolphins are out, which is good, but I hear shark is tasty. I'll never know now.

And every creeping thing that flieth is unclean unto you: they shall not be eaten. (Deut. 14:19)

This means bugs. Never been into beetles, so this is okay.

The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God. (Deut. 22:5)

So all women in pants are abominations? I think skirts are nice anyway.

Thou shalt make thee fringes upon the four quarters of thy vesture, wherewith thou coverest thyself. (Deut. 22:12)

Huh. I need to sew tassels on the four corners of my clothes, eh? I'll notify my tailor.

Leviticus 12
1 And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,
2 Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, If a woman have conceived seed, and born a man child: then she shall be unclean seven days; according to the days of the separation for her infirmity shall she be unclean.
3 And in the eighth day the flesh of his foreskin shall be circumcised.
4 And she shall then continue in the blood of her purifying three and thirty days; she shall touch no hallowed thing, nor come into the sanctuary, until the days of her purifying be fulfilled.
5 But if she bear a maid child, then she shall be unclean two weeks, as in her separation: and she shall continue in the blood of her purifying threescore and six days.
6 And when the days of her purifying are fulfilled, for a son, or for a daughter, she shall bring a lamb of the first year for a burnt offering, and a young pigeon, or a turtledove, for a sin offering, unto the door of the tabernacle of the congregation, unto the priest:
7 Who shall offer it before the LORD, and make an atonement for her; and she shall be cleansed from the issue of her blood. This is the law for her that hath born a male or a female.
8 And if she be not able to bring a lamb, then she shall bring two turtles, or two young pigeons; the one for the burnt offering, and the other for a sin offering: and the priest shall make an atonement for her, and she shall be clean.

This one is great. A woman who gives birth to a boy is unclean for a week and has to purify herself for 33 days. If she gives birth to a girl, she's unclean for two weeks and has to purify herself for 66 days.

Remember, according to the Bible, unclean and unpure people are not allowed in a church until they are clean, which requires a sacrifice. Unclean people sully everything they touch, and everything they touch sullies anyone who touches it.

Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed: neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woollen come upon thee. (Lev. 19:19)

So not only is genetic engineering bad, as the Christians tell us, but also any sort of breeding program, the likes of which have been going on for millennia. Oh, and you better check your clothing labels to see if your wearing a fabric blend. Those have to go.

Thou shalt not wear a garment of divers sorts, as of woollen and linen together. (Deut. 22:11)

Gee, it's in there twice, so it must be twice as important.

Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD. (Lev. 19:28)

Now, I don't generally want to cut myself in honor of a dead person, so I'm okay here. I'm glad I don't have any tattoos though. God says those are bad!

Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard. (Lev. 19:27)

Translated in English, this means no cutting your whiskers, and no touching the hair. I read this one as referring to the hair on your temples, but I'm not taking any chances.

All of Leviticus 15. It's a bit too long to quote here, but it refers to open sores and menstruation, all of which make a person unclean and in need of serious atonement. Read it for yourself here.

Deuteronomy 21
18 If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them:
19 Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place;
20 And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard.
21 And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

My parents must never have seen this. I got off lucky!

Deuteronomy 22
13 If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her,
14 And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid:
15 Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate:
16 And the damsel's father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her;
17 And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter's virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city.
18 And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him;
19 And they shall amerce him in an hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days.
20 But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel:
21 Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

Uh oh! There's a whole lot of women that need stoning. Better go find a quarry, because we're gonna need a lot of rocks.

All joking aside, this is only the tip of the iceberg. For the vast, VAST majority, the rules of God which are stated in the Bible are outlandish and vastly outdated. Most Christians acknowledge this, to different degrees depending on their sect and order. Yet for some reason they persist on insisting that gay people are abominations.

This is hypocrisy. Pure and simple. It is ignorant and naÔve and hurtful.

Next time someone quotes Leviticus at you, ask him where his damn tassels are.

On Survivor: Well I picked that one, didn't I? Though the clever editing had me doubting myself for a while.

Next week: Bye-bye Jake!

One Year Ago Today: Nothing. I think I was sleeping.

Two Years Ago Today: Nothing again. I think I was sleeping too. What a coincidence!

Aaaand in 1886: The Victoria Street Cable Tram route began in Melbourne, Australia.

Mom Rating: 2.5 out of 5. I honestly don't know what Mom will make of this. We've had some good religious discussions over the years, but it all comes back to me sleeping in on Sundays.

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