There's not much going on in the office right now.

It's the Friday before Christmas. Half the office is already off on vacation, and half the rest are getting ready to go as soon as five o'clock rolls around.

No one here is doing any work. There's some web surfing going on, but it's mostly chatting, making jokes, and sneaking bits of Chinese food out from the customer service area.

We spent a half hour collecting $60 to dare Stan into eating an entire can of Holiday brand 'Luncheon Meat' (it's like SPAM, only cheaper) that has been sitting on a filing cabinet since before I started here, only to have him choke on the first bite and give up. I offered to do it, but everyone here has already figured out that I'll eat nearly anything that doesn't move under it's own power, so there were no takers.

Monday is going to be even worse. All of next week's material for the site is ready and waiting, so I fully expect to be trying to find out how many times I can spin my chair without putting my feet down or hurling.

I believe I've broken one of my fillings.

I don't know how or exactly when it broke, but yesterday morning I discovered a whole new type of pain when I tried to chew on the left side of my mouth. It feels much the same as if there was a sharp needle wedged between my teeth that presses into my gum each time I chew. It actually feels like there is something wedged there, which is why I think it's a filling that is broken and wedged funny.

And of course we don't have any current medical insurance. I'm a lowly contractor, and The Pet Conglomerate still hasn't set up Lisa's benefits despite three months of fully completed and submitted paperwork. We'll have dental then, but I may have to suffer in the intervening time.

What a time for this to happen. Half the Christmas experience is tied up in eating things.

I'm okay as long as I'm careful to only chew on one side, and don't fuss with it.

Those people who have seen me know that's as likely as one of the contestants on Survivor passing up a hamburger or a soft bed. I'm always chewing on things - toothpicks mostly, but pens will do. If I don't have any of those, it takes all my will power not to chew my nails to the first knuckle. And I'm not kidding on that one.

Therefore, I'm always rubbing the tooth, probing at it with toothpicks (too soft to find anything) or paperclips (which give me little creepy feelings every time them bump into another of the multitude of other fillings I have in my mouth - anything from canines back is mostly metal these days), or biting down on it to see if it's feeling any better.

It felt absolutely fine this morning, and has got gradually worse since then.

Maybe I'll have soup for dinner.

The hardest thing to do while posting daily is to come up with things to talk about. Thankfully, there are places to help with that, so now I present my first entry to the Friday Five.

1. What is the weirdest thing you've ever eaten?

My long-time motto has been, "Try everything twice... just in case it wasn't done right the first time." The downside of this is that I'll try nearly anything that someone sticks on my plate. The most disgusting thing was at a sushi restaurant a few years back when a bunch of us thought we would try what I think is called aji-itako. That's baby octopus. This turned out to be an entire octopus, no more than an inch long, on the bed of rice. Beyond the disgusting taste, the most memorable part was when the head popped in your teeth with a sound audible to the rest of the table.

2. Name one (material) thing you can't live without.

This would have to be my computer. So much of what I do is based there. My work, my online recreation...

3. Name something you've always wanted to do but didn't have time for.

You know what I'd like best? A space of several months where I'd be financially set and be able to try my hand at writing a novel. I really don't have time to do it on the side, but I certainly can't quit working to give it a shot.

4. What outrageous thing do you wish you had the nerve to do?

Karaoke. You'd think I could do it, but I just can't. Doesn't matter than no one knows me. Doesn't matter if I know the people I'm with won't laugh, and will, in fact, cheer me on. I just can't get up there. I spent most of my life thinking I couldn't sing, and despite the fact that I really can carry a tune, I still can't do it.

5. How do you plan to spend your weekend?

Ah, the weekend. This weekend will be spent in the last bits of Christmas preparation. Tomorrow I'll be picking up Lisa's presents, then wrapping and such. If I can, I'll go over to my folks' place Sunday for lunch. Oh, and a bit of writing, of course.

Mom Rating: 1.5 out of 5. Mom always tried to teach me how important good dental care was. I've only learned the lesson as I've lost more and more of my natural teeth. Plus I should be working harder.

Roger Ebert is an Idiot (2)

The After-Christmas Blues

Take me home, big fella

A solemn pledge to try to post daily during the month of December, as both a gift to my readers, as well as a thank you for your support.