I know I've been talking about religion a lot lately, but it's been on my mind.

It's not totally the 9-11 attacks in the States (although that may be a catalyst), because Lisa and I have been having discussions since early summer about it. And these are normal discussions, not just the occasional three A.M., so-do-you-believe-in-Angels, sleep-deprived blatherfests.

Lisa has never had any sort of church upbringing, and has a natural curiosity over what all the fuss is about. I was brought up in the United Church, which, as I've said before, is more like worship-by-committee than anything else. "Be it resolved that the minister wears a white vestment this year. All in favor? Great... Okay, be it resolved that we can eat meat on Fridays. All in favor? Thank you... Oh, Bob wants to talk about the sins of gambling again. How many of you have Vegas trips planned this year? Right, motion tabled..."

The primary problem I've always had with the United Church is its totally laid back nature. It's the 'sleepy sunny afternoon' of Christian religions. Every Sunday we would go to church, sit in the hard pews, doze through a long droning sermon, drop a quarter in the offering plate, and go home. The only fun part was listening to my Grandfather bellow out the hymns at the top of his lungs. The parts he didn't know or couldn't remember he would mumble and slur, yet still at full volume. He was all like, "Once in royal David's city, stood a lumpha rumble head, where a mother laid her baby in a mumfer fram ahmed;"

The funny part is that he ran the choir for, like, 50 years, so I'm not entirely sure how he managed to not learn any of the words.

Granddad's lyrical digressions aside, there was little to offer a young lad of 14. So I managed to weasel out of going every week, and became a C&E Christian. Twice a year I would get all gussied up, and head over for the services. Easter was always boring, but at least the Christmas services were fun: Grandma always had a glass or two of sherry before the evening service and would giggle like a schoolgirl all night.

The problem was, and is, judging from the attendance problems the United Church is having, is that the entire set up was never very exciting. I think the United Church grew out of a desire to move away from the rigid doctrines of the Catholics, while avoiding the noise and commotion of your Southern Baptists. It's a nice peaceful place where families can while away a Sunday morning, hearing soothing tales of Jesus and his Pals.

I just never got it. I think I need a little fire in my religion. If I'm going to go to church, I want to come away feeling energized and alive. I want a lot of singing, a lot of praising, a lot of feelin' good with God. I want a service that can make me want to come back again. I want one that leaves me feeling excited about my faith, rather than wondering if I can make it home in time for the Sunday afternoon flicks on TBS.

Here's the catch.

When it comes to churches, fire and passion equals fundamentalism, and fundamentalism equals rigid doctrines and dogma. I'm simplifying, of course, but the root of the issue seems to be that the more a religion makes itself a part of your life, the more of your life it dictates to you. Catholics, Jews, Islamics, Buddhists, whatever, all live under specific doctrines of behavior and attitude. There are specific things to wear and eat, exact things to say and do, and precise obligations to live under. These things over here are right, and those things over there are wrong.

And these right and wrong things do not necessarily jibe with what I feel is right or wrong.

There are two core beliefs I refuse to give up, no matter how hip the minister or how often the congregation breaks into dance. These are deal-breakers, folks. You want me to come worship in your flock? Fine and dandy. How do you stand on these?

Number One. It's okay to be gay.

Or bisexual. Or transsexual. Or whatever. I believe that God made you the way you are; therefore there is nothing wrong with being the way you are. I say bullshit on the assumption that homosexuality leads inevitably to child molestation, or a complete degradation of moral character. I've known far too many wonderful people of varying sexualities to even consider such nonsense. You want me to worship under your roof? Fine. Then I want Robert/Roberta to worship with me.

Number Two. There are many ways to God.

I am a Christian. I believe in God and Jesus and Noah's Ark and the Ten Commandments and the Golden Rule. I believe in heaven, and that if I lead a good life, I will go there.

What I don't believe is that this is the only way to 'salvation'. I fully expect to be hanging around on a cloud with Joel and Sasha once we all shuffle off the mortal coil.

I refuse to believe that a God who gives us reason and free will plans on sending to Hell anyone who doesn't submit to the 'obvious' and worship him. I think God wants us all to follow our own paths to righteousness, whether we call him Allah, the Lady, or Big Dave the Omnipotent. And if you choose not to believe at all? Why not! A belief system needs people to question it, if for nothing else than to force the believers to figure out why they believe what they do.

A muddled sentence I know. Bear with me.

There are a lot of churches out there who's basic doctrine comes down to: "We think homosexuals, witches, heathens and atheists are nice people and we should treat them with decency and kindness, but they are all still going to Hell." Get a grip, people.

So those are my requirements. I want a religion that gets me all fired up and excited about believing in it, that allows full acceptance of all regardless of gender, sexuality or belief system, and that doesn't consider itself the end-all and be-all of faiths.

No wonder I sleep in every Sunday morning.

Good News! I've had my contract extended! I'm now working full time until the end of January. That's the company's new fiscal year, and we'll see what happens then. I should get at least three days a week (which is the minimum for our budget) and likely more. Yay!

Special Happy Birthday Note: My buddy Paul just joined the 30+ club! Happy birthday buddy! Wanna go somewhere and complain about whipper-snappers?

*C&E Christian: A member of the congregation that only goes to church on Christmas and Easter. You didn't know that? What are you, some kind of crazy heathen?

Mom Rating: 4.5 out of 5. Mom wants me to think and talk about my faith, and it's good that I've given solid consideration to what I believe and feel. She still wants me to come to church on Sunday.

Snow Sweeper Thing

On A Wednesday

Take me home, big fella

A solemn pledge to try to post daily during the month of December, as both a gift to my readers, as well as a thank you for your support.