So I went to a meeting today. A meeting of one.

I'm not sure what happened. Whether I got the address wrong, or everyone else cancelled out on me, they changed the details and forgot to tell me or what.

Regardless, I'm currently sitting alone at the restaurant . My stubbornness demands that I sit and eat something at least before I mope my way home.

Technically, I could bolt home and check my email to see if I was sent the new location or details, but that's halfway across the city. By the time I got there, it would be too late to go anyway. Plus with the slushy muck that's been falling from the sky for the last day, I don't want to drive around any more than necessary.

Heh. The waitress just asked, with a frown on her face, if I was working. She smiled when I assured her that I was just writing, although she did say I could wait on tables for her if I wanted.

I've never been one for eating alone in restaurants. I've done it enough in kiosks and fast food places over lunch hours (a result of having little in common conversationally with coworkers), but more formal restaurants are always tough. I doubt I could do it at all without some sort of 'aloneness shield'. A book to read, this laptop... something that says 'I planned to be alone right now, and I'm okay with that'. Having to sit at the table and stare emptily at other patrons until my food arrived, and then stare at it until it all disappeared into my gullet... shudder.

Being alone is not a situation allowed in our society. People who are alone are generally labled as outcasts or losers, people so socially unfit that they cannot find anyone at all to spend their time with.

I've never met any true misfits. I've known some people who don't have a lot of people in their lives, but they've always got at least some friends. Still, I suppose anyone truly alone would not have any way to meet me. Heh.

Back in high school, I made a big point of finding the losers, and bringing them into my circle. Not the true loners, the trench-coated, long-haired, jewellery-bedangled misfits who seemed to float apart from the unwashed masses (in their own heads, anyway), but the bookworms, the terminally shy, the self-conscious and afraid. I would actually find someone sitting alone and drag them over to join my bunch.

Ah, beef dip. One of my comfort foods. Any sandwich is better dipped in broth.

Never trust a restaurant that serves gravy with your beef dip instead of broth. Bastards.

Anyway.

I managed to gather quite the little group around myself. Mostly girls (enough, in fact, that the cooler kids referred to them as my 'harem' in derisive tones), and a couple guys. That ratio was mostly by design. I always spent more time with girls than guys. They're prettier to look at and nicer to hug. Plus there usually isn't a tendancy to talk about sports.

Not one of them would have been considered cool by the rest of the school populace. In fact, a good number of them were generally shunned or dismissed.

I'll admit there was a good reason for this in a couple cases. There is at least one that I know that hasn't learned normal social skills to this day. But for the most part, these people were intelligent, warm and caring, with a diverse set of interests and an accepting attitude about people in general.

I just got off the phone with Jeff. Well, it seems I was the one who got things wrong. I was not aware that when they said the 'downtown' restaurant, they didn't mean the one on the edge of downtown where I'm sitting, but instead the one in the core of the city, which I thought was a Denny's. Used to be a Denny's, anyway.

So I'm going to wrap this up and head over to join them. I'll have to scarf down the rest of my sandwich and brave the roads again. But at least I won't be sitting alone anymore.

Mom Rating: 3 out of 5. Being lonely is no fun. Mom is glad I have friends.

To Know Oneself

Christmas is coming

Take me home, big fella