Well, we have our new place.

I still haven't seen it. I'm at work and will be heading there later tonight, after I collect the cats and the rest of our belongings from my folks' place.

But it's not the place I thought it was going to be.

Let me explain.

Lisa goes to pick up the keys yesterday night. The cleaning lady shows her to the suite. Door opens. Gasps of disgust! The place is FILTHY! Ground in dirt everywhere and they haven't painted the walls.

Turns out there was a mistake somewhere in the management system, and the apartment got checked off as clean and painted when it obviously wasn't. So the management suggested two things. Either they could scramble to get it cleaned (which would be a chancy thing that late in the day) and they would paint later, or we could take a different apartment and they will pay for the change of address with the post office.

Lisa checks out the other place. It's in perfect condition. It's even on the main floor, which is what we wanted anyway. So we sigh, and say we'll take it.

It then falls to me to let all the utilities know of the change.

I call the electric system -- no problem. Clickety-click, we're all fixed.

I call my insurance broker. Clickety-click!

Fine so far. I call the phone company.

According to them, no one has had phone service in the new apartment since September 1999. That means that the service is physically disconnected and they have to send someone out to turn it on. Next Thursday.

So we have no phones, and Tricia is due to give birth any second. Great. Well, we have a cellphone, so we'll survive. And we'll have to eat the extra charges for the installer to come out.

I call the cable company, as I have an installer appointment for Friday morning to set up cable and cable Internet. The lady listens to my story and says, "Well, I'll just cancel this work order here and create a new one. Of course, we'll have to reschedule the appointment for sometime next..."

"No," I say. Something in my voice makes her pause. I wasn't about to take anymore crap.

"They were coming here anyway," I say. "Change the work order so they come to a different apartment."

See, even if she cancels my appointment and schedules a new one, there is suddenly and open appointment slot in the exact same spot! Gosh!

Anyway, she can obviously tell I'm not going to go away unless she does it my way, so she does the changes and assures me that she personally will make sure this goes through correctly.

Damn straight.

Changing the movers is no problem. They are thrilled they won't have to climb stairs.

Some more problems: They gave us the wrong keys. I have to pick up a new set just to get into the building. Also, the door buzzer is one of those that's keyed to the phone rather than a box on the wall. And, lo! No phone! But they may have it switched to our cellphone in time for my to let in the cable guys tomorrow morning.

I hate moving.

Over in the forum:

More trash talk
The other, OTHER white meat

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Take me home, big fella