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I've developed a new habit.
When I was very, very young, my folks tell me, I went through a brief sleepwalking stage. Every once in a while they would find me wandering around, poking into things, peeing in the corner of the kitchen, basic stuff like that.
It went away, and everything was normal for many years. I didn't talk in my sleep, roam around... I don't even snore too badly unless I've got a cold.
However, Lisa has informed me I have developed a habit of 'sleep touching'. Apparently deep in the night, on several occasions over the last half-dozen months or so, she has awoken to find me groping at her in a rather lecherous manner.
For those of you who are thinking, 'He ALWAYS gropes at her in a lecherous manner': This is different. I don't remember doing it.
Seriously. My sleeping mind has been developing a major case of 'Roman' hands. It's become so bad at times that Lisa has been forced to actually reach over and give me a good thwack to the arm to get me to roll over and let her go back to sleep.
It wouldn't be so bad if the touching was, you know, sensual. Gentle stroking, ear nibbling, neck kissing... if it was like that, we'd probably both wake up in a much more pleasant way. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.
But no. Sleeping Brain apparently has all the romantic knowledge of a 13-year-old Star Trek: Voyager fan. Grope, grope, grope.
I find this hilarious. I can't help laughing whenever either of us mentions it. Lisa is much grumpier about the whole thing -- after all, she's the one losing sleep over it -- but I can't stop the chuckles.
The part that makes me really giggle is the fact that I don't remember anything. Heck, I don't even remember getting belted and told to quit it. The best recollection I have is a couple dream fragments. I vaguely recall a fuzzy half-dream where I didn't know my name or Lisa's, and she was just some unknown female-shape that I enjoyed touching. Mmm... breasts....
There's no pattern to it. It doesn't seem to make a difference if we've had sex recently or not, if we're well slept or not, if I wore boxers or briefs that day... no pattern has yet emerged. It seems that occasionally Sleeping Brain just decides he's just got to 'get some'.
I just wish he'd wake me up so I could enjoy it too.
Whoa! Way too much information!
Mom Rating: 0 out of 5. This post is about sex. Mom's not supposed to read any of it. I know she's gonna anyway, but she's been warned.
West Wing note: We both forgot to set the tape to record the new episode of West Wing last night, and weren't going to get home until it was well over. Lisa had to get a girl at work to call her mom to tape it for us. Heh. Lisa's so embarrassed.
Enough
sex. See any good movies?
Don't
you know it's almost Halloween?
Take me home, big fella
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