Let's talk about alter egos.

I have a LOT of them.

It's the end result of a lifetime of playing on the Internet, on local bulletin boards, and in various role-playing games. I've picked up identities like fleas, and they are nearly as hard to get rid of.

Think you know me? Do you know THESE versions of me?

Zab

Otherwise known as Captain Zabondrian Francois Xavier. This individual is my most abiding persona and I could most likely fill days of entries on him alone. I probably will at some point.

After I finally convinced my parents to buy me a 300 baud modem for Christmas back in '86 or so, I couldn't wait to get online. I hooked it up to my Commodore 64 and plugged it into my new phone line. Using a phone list my Dad found at the store where he got the modem, I dialed up a place called 'Cobra's Lair'.

My analog line ticked and whirred for a minute, then the modem started squealing. I was on. It asked me if I was a new user and I typed 'Yes'. Then it asked me: What alias do you wish?

What alias? What's that for? Um. Um. Shit. An alias. In a small panic, I slapped out three letters that sounded cool to me. Z A B.

So I became Zab, who I have been for nearly fifteen years now. Some boards wouldn't accept the name Zab, saying it was too short, so I filled it out to Zabondrian (more random characters). Another place wanted a full name, so he got Francois and Xavier added to the end.

At a BBS called 'Nymphstar', Zab became a rather cocky mad scientist, and was found out to be a 96-year-old alien from the planet Shisto, which is the fourth planet around the star Beta Minor. Thanks to the BBS 'Zarquilian Sewers', he because the commander of an intergalactic fleet and a scoundrel. When I joined a local Star Trek Fan Club, Zab's universe joined up with Gene Roddenberry's, and Zab became the bartender of the USS Astra. Zab eventually became the Captain, then joined Starfleet Intelligence and spent his time hitting golf balls off the back of the hull.

For a while, he also captained the starship Endeavour in a play-by-email game and ran the Starfleet Advanced Design Bureau in a MUSH. He continues to evolve in bizarre ways.

Zab spawned a plethora of other BBS aliases I would use as the whim struck me. Academy. Nebber Knevlin. Johnny New Light. The Black Plague. Benji the Invincible. Xsnpmftosm Csbort. (Zab's sister, created by spelling Zab's name out using one character to the right on the keyboard. Clever, no?)

There are still people around who only know me as Zab. They turn up at conventions and such every once in a while.

Shuffledog

My newest persona. I needed a login ID for a chat server we were testing at work and didn't want to explain Zab to them just yet. I had been searching for MP3's by the band 'Shuffle Demons' the night before, so the name just slipped out.

Shuffledog is my ID for the EzBoards I frequent. (If you don't know what these are, you obviously haven't used my forum yet.) No real character for him yet, just a succession of cheesy little icons which have nothing to do with trout in the least.

Stillblue

My first real MUCK character. MUCKs and MUSHes and MUs are online environments where you get to create a whole little text based world for yourselves and others to mess around in. When I joined the anthropomorphic FluffMUCK, a place where rabbits and tigers walked around in jeans and leather jackets, I decided I would just be a cat. A small, blue, incredibly fluffy cat, where all you could see out of the mass of blue hair was a tail and two really big eyes.

Stillblue spent his days cuddling people and chasing tails and butterflies. He didn't get a lot of sex, but that was all right. He also had a real problem with static cling.

Eventually, Lisa joined FluffMUCK as the centaur Tekhalia and the two built an extensive mansion that we never really used. Oh well.

Telion of Gycon

My very, very first Dungeons and Dragons character. Telion was an elf mage who only knew how to cast 'magic missile', and carried around a tiny silver dagger.

Over the years he became a mighty warrior mage, who protected a world against the forces of blah blah blah.

Telion was the archetype of all my heroic characters. Noble, proud, loyal, chivalrous, perfect hair. No flaws whatsoever.

Ah, you've got to have at least ONE of these guys in your role-playing history. He only shows up now in games when I need a pure and tough NPC to save the rest of the characters.

PBEM Games

Play-By-EMail games are like role-playing games, but without hard rules. People join and ongoing story by adding their own actions and observations. It's a lot of fun and very addicting. I've played in a wide variety of Star Trek ones.

Nate Stoneham

Nate was my first PBEM character. He's a former Starfleet Marine who fell in love with astronomy and went on to become an astrophysicist. He joined the crew of the USS Darwin where he got a reputation for being able to identify any stellar phenomenon and destroy a shuttlecraft investigating it.

Nate was a six-and-a-half feet tall Aussie with red hair. The chicks loved him.

Eventually, I ran out of time to play that game and Nate left. He's being resurrected as the Captain of Terminus Station, a game I'm running for the Astra.

I also use Nate as an alias for the bulletin board at The 11th Hour, and online genre fan magazine. They think he's cute too.

Shrek

My most fun PBEM creation. The Ferengi ambassador to Starbase Horizon, Shrek is urbane, cultured and has perfect posture. He's great. He's made allies of the Romulan ambassador and half the station. (He also owns nearly half the station, but that's another story.)

Currently, he's on a mission to the Romulan homeworld to try and get an exclusive trading contract with them. He may even survive the encounter.

Rhan'dhyl tr'Hrilliake

The captain of the Romulan warbird S'task in an associated PBEM. He's a former Tal Shi'ar officer who comes from a line of hard-liners. The ship he's on is the flagship of a new treaty of friendship between the Romulans and the Federation. Needless to say, he hates the treaty and is working to destroy it.

He's also the one who's stuck shuttling Shrek to the Romulus. It's fun plotting against yourself.

Krex

A new creation in the works for a new PBEM (positions are available). Remember the Star Trek animated series? A weird alien with three arms and legs replaced Chekov? Krex is one of those. Shy, quiet, smart and really, really weird. This could be fun.

Vampire: The Masquerade

I've been playing role-playing games since I was a child, but the characters that have stuck most in my mind have been the ones I've played in live action Vampire: The Masquerade. This game lets people play the life of a Vampire of virtually any kind and background. Rebels and priests and warriors and businessmen. All real time. It's a combination of gaming and improvisational acting.

Please note: We are not the kooks you hear about in the newspaper who share blood with each other and skulk around victimizing small children. We play our game for a few hours a month and then we go home. We do not live these lives. It's an important distinction.

William Irons

My first character was William Irons, a 1700's era fur trader who was driven insane and then 'turned' into a vampire. He was fine and puppy-like until you crossed him. Then he'd start ripping arms off.

William got real scary after a while. Really powerful with a hair-trigger temper, he killed the vampire Prince of the city and then was barely beaten by the Prince's sire.

He was fun.

Reverend Isaiah Stokes

Reverend Stokes was a vampire televangelist. He had his own TV show (called 'Midnight Mass') where he would preach from his pulpit, then he would feed from the faithful afterwards.

Thing was, Stokes was a believer. He really did believe in the Lord and did his best to protect the innocent and his flock. He never killed or hurt anyone, and was trying to save the souls of his fellow Kindred. Of course, he was loud and brash, so no one ever quite trusted him. Which made his job a lot harder.

Reverend Stokes met his maker while trying to break up an evil magical ritual. He did delay it long enough for the rest of the group to take them down. He died well.

Dr. Kirsch

A return to the nasty sort of vampires, Dr. Kirsch is a Vampire heart surgeon. Totally insane, he is fixated on discovering the scientific reasoning why vampires exist. He will do anything to learn more, even killing his own kind for the knowledge gained. He's still alive and is working on a big dissertation in vampire physiology.

Elliott Jackson

Ah, Elliott. My current favorite. Elliott is a businessman way in over his head. Elliott was a ghoul of the ancient vampire Gaelon Everest (a ghoul is a human bonded to a vampire) and spent many months as a trusted associate before finally becoming a Vampire himself.

Elliott has a strong sense of morality and is shocked and horrified at the actions of others of the Kindred. He believes in humanity's right to exist and strives to help his Clan gain better control of the more violent and evil of their kind. He knows the beast lurks within him as well, but keeps it under iron guard. It's the hard road he walks, and he may not survive.

But it's a lot of fun!

There's a ton more I've missed, I'm sure, but these ones are the major ones.

You see, in taking on a role, actors try to associate their characters with themselves, finding the character within them. It is a way of exploring themselves and better understanding their own minds and motivations. Even evil characters help them find insights, as they examine the fragments of darkness that lie inside every person.

Role-playing those characters above has had the same result in me. Bravery, greed, nobility, single-mindedness, intellectualization, foolishness, anger, fear, respect, belief -- all are aspects of my true character, even the dark and unwanted characteristics.

Role-playing lets me explore. Not just other worlds and settings, but my own mind as well.

Just be yourself, man!

Talk about nothing in particular.

So, you playing in any other games right now?

Take me home, big fella