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I got home too late last night to catch all but the last ten minutes of "Survivor!" Forgive me, but I really enjoy the show. It's getting much more exciting now that they are all suffering from malnutrition and are looking ready to start cannibalizing Greg.
eat your heart out, georgie-boy |
I was there, though, to watch the premiere of Big Brother. For those of you who have been hiding in caves (either by choice or by accident) it's another of these 'real-life' game shows.
This one stuffs 10 people into one house without television, phones, computers, radios, books, newspapers, blah, blah, blah. Every square inch of the house is monitored by cameras, and I mean every inch. Plus there are four live 24-hour web cams for your viewing pleasure.
(Side-note: Anyone wanna take side-bets on how long till bootleg copies of Miss Washington in the shower and on the john get dumped onto the net?)
Much like in Survivor, people will be voted out and the winner gets $500,000 dollars.
Here's the rub. The residents will nominate two people every two weeks and the viewing public will vote on who gets evicted.
The viewing public. Well, there goes the challenge on who will last. It's down to who looks best and who jiggles most for the camera. Don't believe me? Well, here's my Big Brother Predictions! In three months we'll see how I did.
In order of who gets kicked out first:
- Karen. She's 44, married and the mother of four. She looks just like your mom, and who wants to watch your mom on TV.
- Cassandra. 38. Devout vegetarian and translator for the UN. Smart as a whip, but she's not in her twenties any more. The demographic won't stand for her for long.
- George. He's fat and 42, so you would expect him to be at the top of the list, but he's funny, so he'll be kept around for the yuks alone. For a little while.
- Curtis. 28. The ink on his law degree was hardly dry before he signed up for this little venture. He's good looking and friendly, but he brought his Bible with him, which is the TV kiss of death.
- Jamie. 23. The current Miss Washington (not kidding), this coffee addict sports a lovely 4.0 GPA and a perky attitude that will get her booted earlier than you would expect.
- Eddy. 21. The fact that he lost his leg to cancer will win him the sympathy votes, but his attitude will keep him from reaching the big finish.
- William. 27. Big and black, this suave fellow will hang on for a while. He's got the whole 'Shaft' thing going for him, but that's no fun unless he shoots someone. Here's your hat.
- Brittany. 26. The eye candy value of this rebel chick, plus the fact that she's liable to do anything, will keep her around for a good run. But again, the attitude will get her punted.
- Joshua. 23. Civil engineering student and all-around fun guy and ladies' man. He is the show's demographic. Expect him to last for a while.
- Jordan. Our big winner. She's 26 and used to work as an exotic dancer. She's all eye-candy, and will be kept around to the end just because she's more likely to get naked on the web cams than the rest of them.
The one wild card is that each of these people can walk right out the front door if they want at any time, which will completely turf these predictions. I'll get back to you if it happens.
You are SO wrong, buddy.
Back
up. What was that again?
Bored.
Next?
Take me home, big fella
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