First Night
Last night was my first night with a CPAP machine
It was awful.
Okay, so how it works is it continually pumps air into your nose, keeping all the air passages open. The feeling is like blowing up a well-stretched balloon. Breathing in is fine, but I had to consciously push against the air pressure to breathe out.
So I put the thing on just past 11, and spent the next hour or so trying to get used to it. It's physical presence wasn't too bad -- there were some problems with it leaking if I lay on my side, but that was about it. (They gave me a 'hose cozy', a felt cover for the air hose, so it was more comfortable to sleep with.)
But I spent the whole time focusing on my breathing. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Every time I started to nod off, I'd catch myself suddenly taking in a huge gasp of air, like I had been breathing too shallow.
I think I finally fell asleep around 12:30 or so, and work up around 1 o'clock, clawing the mask off my face. I think (it's all jumbled) that I felt I was suffocating. I tried to put it back on but I was so tired and, honestly, freaked out that I just couldn't.
I've already spoken with the sleep therapist. He wants me to try it again tonight, maybe try to watch a bit of TV while wearing it to help get accustomed to it. He's booked me an appointment tomorrow afternoon just in case, where he can adjust the machine if it isn't much better tonight.
I'm disillusioned and a little afraid about trying it again. There's not a lot of solutions left if this doesn't work.