So I had fun at Westercon. I must have, as I was so exhausted and burnt out by Monday night (it being a four-day con over the American AND Canadian long weekend) that I fell victim to some bug that was three-parts malaise maker and one-part overeager mucus generator.

Lisa is correct though in her assertation that the convention would have been far better with the violent expulsion of a certain white-bearded social reject and his narrow-minded and judgmental mate.

I am not a violent man, having expunged the temper of my burgeoning days and not having laid hand to anyone since the Heidi incident some twelve years ago (wherein she gave a good yank to the tiny hairs on the back of my neck back in Grade Ten and I reflexively smacked her with the base of my palm in the nose). But after that bastard made Lisa cry I pledged some serious violence would occur. It didn't, obviously, given that I'm still at my desk at work and not locked up in the hoosegow, but only because it would have required me to leave my distraught wife to go track the degenerate down. By the time she was fit for public company again, my damn cool head had prevailed.

Rules for Future Convention Organizers:

1. No one can read your fucking mind. Try asking them to do something before you start berating them for not having done it.


2. The most important thing to do in a crisis is solve it, not loudly announce whose fault you feel it is to everyone in a 100-foot radius for twenty minutes.


3. If you do slip and pull a #2, have the good fucking grace to apologize when you discover it wasn't their fault in the first place and that they're the only ones who were able to fix it after all.


4. Three words. Common fucking courtesy.

Beyond that, I had a great time.

The Slave Auction was a good success, raising $1930 for Westercon and next year's Con-Version. Not a record, but close enough considering we had less slaves and less buyers than usual.

I set up and ran Con-Version's hall table for the morning of each of the four days. I did about a three-hour stint which A) got my volunteering obligation out of the way before the more fun afternoon stuff occurred, and B) let me chat with damn near everyone as we were stationed outside the Dealer's Room and everyone passed by at least once during the day.

In addition to the table, Con-Version ran a party room every night as well, with the aim of garnering more pre-registrations for next year and keeping awareness up. Quite the party too, which was a good thing, as Westercon's con-suite could be best described by a word that rhymes with 'blame'. It gave a nice alternative to the endless bid parties and the boring dance.

I keep telling people. There's a reason we hire a DJ and not just let some shlub run it for free.

A quick note on the bid parties. Many cons like Westercon are 'travelling cons' which move from city to city every time. Future hosts bid like cities trying to get the Olympics and they run bid parties at conventions to raise awareness and get people to vote for their con. We don't usually get bid parties at Con-Version, it being a regional con not heavily attended by the world-travelling fans that vote on such things, so I was sure to check them out.

Basic bid party format: Flyer and posters advertising their plans and area, and some light snacks to tempt wanderers. Plus: little stickers for your membership badge. Little stickers are always good. The food should be better though. Room after room of cheese squares and cookies failed to imprint on my memory. The only room that had any success was the 'Anticipation' room, for the Montreal in 2009 Worldcon bid.

Mmm. Montreal smoked meat sandwiches. Drew me from two floors away. Go Montreal in 2009! Woo!

Back at the room party. The theme was Con-Version 21.5: Mini-Con! We had a mini guest of honor (world-famous globetrotting author Rob Sawyer -- that's how I introduce him to everyone) a mini artist guest, a 'pirate' guest of honor and, of course, the fan guests.

Which included me. I know I said before that I was Fan Guest of Honour, but another snuck onto the roster just before the con. Paul somebody. (Hee! I'm entirely sure he's going to comment. Scroll down to see...)

I must say though, I was the star of the show. I don't think the other guests actually did much of anything. All world-famous globetrotting author Rob Sawyer did was drink and ensure that I introduced him every time I got up to speak.

I had games.

What I assumed was that either A) everyone already knew me, or B) could care less, so I didn't bother to talk about myself, but rather things I'm a fan of. So I ran a Su Doku tournament, a RoboRally Challenge and a Star Wars Trivia Contest. Prizes for all games came from my personal accumulated stash of fan crap. Er, valuable collectible merchandise.

The Thursday night Su Doku tournament was fun. Fifteen people tried their hands at the 'mild' puzzle and the fastest five tackled the 'fiendish' version. The best part was that a fair number of the people, including those who didn't make the finals, took the fiendish one with them to try on their own. A couple people ran up to me later at the con and showed me their finished puzzle, demanding I check it for accuracy. Success! The prize for the winner was a resin-cast model of a Star Trek: The Next Generation Type I phaser, ready for painting.

Friday night's RoboRally Challenge was actually a simplified version of a full game, with only three turns and a single strait-forward board. The winner got to choose either a resin-cast insignia pin from either Star Trek: TNG or the Original Series, with the second place finisher getting the other. Enough interest was generated that I ran a full, two-board, two-checkpoint game immediately afterwards. I hope I generated some interest for when Wizards of the Coast's new 'Avalon Hill' label re-releases RoboRally this very Friday. Looks good, by the way, except that they've replaced the cool, pewter, Phil Foglio-designed miniatures with plastic derivatives, and the boards are two-sided, limiting their combination potential. Ah well.

I skipped running anything in the suite Saturday night (that being the night of the Slave Auction) and held my Star Wars Trivia Challenge Sunday night. Using the questions from Star Wars Trivial Pursuit, I ran eight players through a write-and-show-your-answer sudden death round to trim them to four people, then went around-the-circle, letting people chose a category to win a pie. Once two people had all six pies, we went to the one-minute speed round. They tied (sigh) so we had a 30-second speed round where the winner won by a single answer. The winner got a commerative pin from the release of the Special Edition of Star Wars.

Whew!

And finally, Larry Niven. My favorite author, like ever. Neil Gaiman is a close second, but one of the first books I call recall reading was Ringworld, and I have damn near every book he's put out since then.

So I'm standing at the Con-Version table, telling someone that I'm glad Larry Niven is there, because I've been dying to meet him for years. Fan extraordinaire John Hertz is walking by and says, "Hang on a minute!"

He goes into the Dealer's Room and emerges with Larry Niven in tow. Just to meet me.

Do I act like an enlightened and informed reader of his books and ask him on some of the finer astrological engineering and terraforming details in Building Saturn's Moon? I do not. Do I act as a critical reader, wondering why it is that his main characters spend so much time in other people's beds? I do not. Do I even act as a long-time fan, querying if there will ever be a new Dream Park novel? I do not. Do I act like a gushing fanboy, and blather on at him that he's my FAVORITIST WRITER EVER and I've read EVERYTHING HE'S WRITTEN for a full five minutes before he can retreat under the onslaught?

Sigh.

I did better when Lisa dragged him to the Con-Version room Sunday night and I got to chat with him and his lovely wife for an hour and a half. I was able to ask the Dream Park question (yes, and it will be set on the Moon) and find out some other tidbits on stuff he's working on (including a sequel to Inferno).

Plus I was given the privilege of driving the two of them to the airport for their flight Tuesday morning. Woo hoo!

I'm all ready for him to come back next year for Con-Version 22, where he and R. Scott Bakker can BOTH feel the fury of my fanboy frenzy!

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I think "feel the fury of my fanboy frenzy" is one of the best bits of alliteration I've ever written. My post detailing some of the highlights of Westercon 58 is up. Go! Enjoy!... [Read More]

Tracked on July 13, 2005 04:22 PM