Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 6

Ship-board life falls into a routine very rapidly. You get up, eat some breakfast, do your daily activities, have a swim, eat a fancy dinner, relax, sneak some late-night fries, go to sleep. On sea days, our 'daily activities' generally consisted of lying in the sun, reading books, taking leisurely swims, and other combinations of laziness and sloth.

We generally eschewed the 'party' activities, where the drunken louts got together to gyrate and hoot. We avoided things like "Survivor: Carnival" and skipped the stage shows (most of which seemed pretty lame - there was even a talent show one night. Woot).

See, we reasoned to ourselves, this is our vacation. Let's spend it the way we want to. So we did.

We did take part in the two Blackjack tournaments in the casino. Simple deal: $20 entry fee gets you into a single round. You get $1000 in play money and the seven folks (from all rounds) with the most remaining cash at the end of seven hands goes into the final. The prize money were like $500 US, so we figured why not.

Of course we had the Evil Russian as our dealer. Lovely, sweet, funny lady. Mean, mean dealer.

Okay. First hand. I bet $200. I get a pair of 8s, dealer gets a 6. The Book says 'split', so I do. That's $400 on the table. On my first 8 I get a 3; the other a 2. So I double down on each one. That's $800 on the line. The 11 gets a 9, the 10 gets a 7. So I'm sitting on 20 and 17 on a dealer's 6. Dealer flips her down card. 8. She pulls another card.

7. Dealer has 21. Everyone loses. I'm down $800 in one hand. I lose the remaining $200 the very next hand.

In the second tournament I lasted four hands before busting out. I call it a win.

Cruising Day #3: Cozumel

The ship docked in Cozumel, Mexico bright and early Tuesday morning and we joined the line to head off for our first shore excursion - a trip to Xcaret Eco-Park for a Dolphin Swim.

Eeee!

First though, we had to get there. Cozumel is an island and Xcaret is just south of Playa del Carmen on the mainland. So once we stepped off the ship, we headed right for the UltraMar, the ferry that would take us across to the mainland.

First thought: Good LORD it's hot!

Second thought: Hey, those nice gentlemen in the army fatigues are carrying assault rifles.

Third thought: Next time we step off the ship we have to bring a cloth to wipe the condensation off the camera lens so we can get clearer pictures of the men with guns.

The Ultramar is what I call a 'medium-speed' vessel. See, while fast boats cut smoothly through the waves and slow ones gently go up and down the swells, medium boats just kind of slap into each one generating a series of jumps and jerks that last for the entire 45 minute journey to the shore.

The crew was very clear when they pointed out the locations of all the bathrooms on the ship. Lisa barely made it to shore without having to blow chunks.

Once in Playa Del Carma, we boarded our bus (Named "La Coqueta" - Which I think is similar to the French word "Coquette" which means (from one online dictionary) "A seductive woman who uses her sex appeal to exploit men". So our bus was named "The Golddigger")

Xcaret combines aspects of zoos, archaeological tours and aquariums into one sprawling area. Uneven paths of packed sand and rock form winding routes through past animal pens, over fish and turtle packed rivers, and around actual archaeological remnants and crafty replicas. Iguanas and monitor lizards basked on the rocks at every turn while land crabs cowered in crack and holes.

Our guide, who reminded me oddly of our friend Chris K., tried to pack as much sight-seeing into the first part of the tour as possible. By keeping a hearty pace and not overlingering at any particular place (overlingering being longer than ten seconds) we were able to at least glance at tons of stuff. I had to scramble to climb up a small sacrificial pyramid to gaze into the tiny chamber at the top and get back down before the entire tour group disappeared into the jungle.

Our whirlwind tour ended at the entrance to the Underground River attraction, where we were allowed to don life jackets and slip into 18 degree water. Since it was around 30 degrees in the sun, this was a blessed relief, especially after the marathon run that our tour had been so far.

Over the next hour or so, we let ourselves float in the river, drawn onward by my listless paddling and the gentle current, passing through underground caves and by rock formations and Mayan replicas. Sinkholes, shafts and crevices let light sparkle down into the caves, making it a gorgeous experience.

Strangely, the rest of our group swam though, hustling to get to the other side. We had no clue why they would do this - just floating in the water was heaven.

At the end, which was some four kilometers away, we finally hauled ourselves our and allowed ourselves to be herded onwards - we were the last to emerge.

Our guide dropped us off on this beach area all set up with grass cabanas and seats, like a mini-resort in the middle of the park. Most people trooped off to find something to eat, but, since we were still broke, we surreptitiously consumed the room service we had snuck off the boat that morning.

Our next destination was the dolphin swim. This was an inlet that had been fenced off with boardwalks and nets. After donning life jackets and getting our briefing, we trooped out and hopped into the water.

This will be hard to describe.

Our group of twelve people - half the whole group, with the other half in another area of the inlet - floated in the beautifully cool ocean water, spaced evenly out. Two full-grown dolphins then came and swam among us, letting us run our hands along their backs, fins and tails. Occasionally they would roll over, letting us rub their pale bellies.

When the first one passed by me, I extended my hand carefully, letting my palm slide down the dolphin's cool, wet back. Like a wetsuit, I first thought, but more, I don't know, tactile. It felt so very alive.

And when my hand reached his tail and he gave a little kick to propel himself onwards - the power in that tail! It felt like he could have twitched his tail and snapped me in two if he desired.

We lost track of time. The dolphins kept moving between us, around us. Once, just as one tail was sliding away from my hand I felt something bump into me. I turned to see the other dolphin rubbing against my back in the water. Another time, as I touched one of their backs, he rolled over, in my arms, and I gave him the gentlest of squeezes. I hugged a dolphin! Whee!

It lasted for what felt like hours, but was over so very soon.

As a very final thing, each person lined up for a professional photo with the dolphin 'kissing' you. Once we were all dried off, our guide led us to the gift shop where the photos were ready for purchase for only $15 each. We would have LOVED to buy them but, of course, we had no freaking money. Stupid Dollar Rent-A-Car.

(We have a bunch of pictures taken with our waterproof camera. I'll post them once we get them back and scanned.)

So Lisa snuck out the camera and when the counter staff were looking the other way, snapped a picture of the pictures. It's not as good quality, but it'll do.

Don't we look happy?

We made our way out of the park then, where we cooled off under the geyser in the park's entranceway while waiting for our guide to take us to the buses. Most people just walked around the water spray. We couldn't figure out why.

Silly people.

Our original choice for a second excursion (we were docked in Cozumel for over 12 hours) was the Pirates of the Caribbean Lobster Cruise where you would board a galley and tour around the way area while dining and dancing in the Caribbean twilight. It had been cancelled for some unknown reason, so we opted for a 'sunset snorkel', which was billed as a chance to snorkel as the sun went down as the nocturnal creatures started to emerge. It was actually pretty lame. We were driven down the coast about five minutes and pretty much just hopped in the water and swam around.

First off, I apparently have the kind of face that doesn't fit snorkel masks well. I had the worst time keeping sea water from going up my nose, so that was no fun.

Also, the guide was trying to keep us all in one tight area, rather than letting us wander around, so all thirty of us were trying to snorkel in the same place, so lots of collisions were inevitable. Plus we couldn't get away from the jerk who kept yelling at his kid, "KENNY?!? DIDJA SEE?!? DIDJA SEE THE FISH?!? LOOKIT THE FISH KENNY!!! HYUH HYUH HYUH!!!"

Lord.

And finally, once the sun did start to go down and things on the bottom started to look all neat, they ushered us to shore and set us on our way. Sigh.

In between excursions and prior to getting back on the boat, we toured around the pier area, which was just one big set of tourist shops. Everything from fine gold jewelry to crude t-shirts with interspersed bars and liquor stores. We went into our first 'Del Sol' stores, where everything you buy changes color under direct sunlight. Kinda neat. When we found one on Grand Cayman later, Lisa got some nail polish and I bought a new ball cap - my X-Men cap disappearing somewhere between Orlando and Miami.

The dock leading out to the boat was the biggest duty-free shop we've ever seen. It's like the length of several football fields, and you have to walk its entire length to get to and from the ship. And the footpath winds to the left and right through the store, so you always have to look at new products. Very clever, marketing wise, but very annoying for us.

It was a very exhausting day. We had a late dinner and crashed.

The following day was another sea day, taking us to our next destination: Grand Cayman.

Next week! The big finale! Grand Cayman! Ocho Rios! Fun fun fun!

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Tracked on June 17, 2005 01:56 PM